PASSING TOO WELL




BY RACHEL RENE BOYD


To some extent we crossdressers all want to pass as a woman
in public. When I go out in public I always assume I may pass at a
distance, but anyone who comes in close contact with me will figure it out.
But in a recent experience I may have passed better than I ever imagined.

This was totally unexpected, and illustrates a couple of points about
crossdressing in public. First, if we want to enjoy the freedom of wearing
feminine attire, we have to be prepared for the responsibilities that
come with it. Sometimes that means being lady-like and pleasant
in all situations. A second is that if we walk the walk, we had best be prepared
to talk the talk. We all worry about the fearful incidents that have happened
to some crossdressers, but in this instance I was caught off guard by a very
pleasant experience I never really expected. It happened on a business
trip to Houston. I was there several days, and decided I wanted to "dress for
dinner" each night. One night after I finished dinner in the hotel restaurant,
a two-person combo was playing in the atrium/lobby. I decided I would have
a glass of wine and listen to the group for a while. I had been there about
10 minutes, when a guy comes up and asks if I am waiting for someone.
"No. Would you care to sit down?" We began to talk. Bob is from Calgary.
He is a nice man. Very mannerly. Divorced, with two kids, 9 and 12.
He works for an oil field service firm, specializing in submersible pumps.
One could say I attract well-field trash, but he seemed like a nice enough guy.

We talked for over an hour. He bought me my drinks. Oh, was I in heaven!
We did have some common interests, since I work in the petroleum industry too.
I told him I worked for one of the major oil companies, which in a way is true.
He works in Yemen quite a bit. I told him I recently volunteered for a temporary
assignment in Yemen, the day before the USS Cole was hit. He said, "Yemen is
no place for a woman." Yes, I found that out after I volunteered. Of course, I
didn't go after the attack on the Cole. But the really interesting stuff was what
happened when he started asking me about my husband. I always wear a
wedding band set when I am dressed, so he didn't have to ask if I was married.

Thinking I needed to maintain the illusion, I found myself referring to my
husband in the conversation, talking about what he does, and why we decided
not to have children. I must say, that was new for me --talking about my
husband. We talked for well over an hour! Not once did he give me any indication
he knew about the real me. I have always thought my presentation was pretty
good, but my voice usually gives me away. So I have been working on
developing a more feminine voice. Some of my sisters have been telling me
my voice has improved dramatically, but I thought they were just being kind.

Maybe Bob suspected I was not entirely who I appeared to be, but if he did,
he is certainly a good actor. I was beginning to wonder how I was going to end
this little thing. I didn't want it to go too far, but I didn't want is to end either.
My fear was that at some point he would figure out I was a guy and an
ugly scene would ensue. Toward the end of our time together, he mentioned
he was a night person. That was my cue. I told him I had to be up early the
next morning (the truth) and was basically a morning person. It was
amazing. At that point he knew our evening wasn't going any further.

We talked for another 10-15 minutes after we determined we were not
"Yin and Yang", so to speak. Finally I had to excuse myself. I touched him
on the arm as I told him as sweetly as I could how nice it was to talk
with him. As I recount what happened, it sounds like I'm making it up.
Frankly, I can hardly believe it happened. My imagination may have been
working overtime. Maybe he knew, and was just trying to see if I would give
myself up. He may be laughing with his buddies today about this weird guy
he met in Houston who was dressed as a girl! I'll never know. I'm just
grateful for his kindness to me in one magical moment in my life as Rachel.

This article first appeared in A Chesapeake Rose, the newsletter
of Tri-Ess chapter (Baltimore-Washington) of Chi Epislon Sigma.